Why is the bicycle the best zombie apocalypse vehicle you ask?
article by top zombie expert 15OLN
Well we’ve come up with what we feel are ten solid reasons why a bicycle is the best zombie apocalypse escape vehicle for you and put them all nice and neat in this info graphic at the bottom. Feel free to share that with everyone you want. Just right click and chose ‘save as’.
10 – When the world runs out of gasoline you’ll be fine.
All of those massive apocalypse vehicles everyone is planning on getting will take a LOT of gas to get from here to there. It won’t be long before gas will be hard to come by and in a society without any rules it won’t be long before people will turn to crime to get gasoline. None of that will matter to those of us that have a bicycle.
9 – Zombies respond to sound and bicycle are quiet.
Loud engine noises will draw zombies to them like flies to honey. Sure the mindset right now is “So what?! I’ll just run them over in my Hummer and splatter them all over the road”. No you won’t. Ever see what kind of damage a deer can do to a car? Now multiply that by a freaking horde of zombies and you’ll see that it might work for a few of them, but in the end you’ll just be setting yourself up for an accident. None of that will matter to those of us that have a bicycle.
8 – You can haul more with a bicycle than you can on foot.
Most of your traveling will be within just a few square miles and as we’ve already said the engine noises will attract zombies to you. You need to be stealthy to get your supplies and you’ll want to get all you can carry. A bicycle can easily be fitted to haul a trailer, carry saddle bags, baskets, and even a sidecar!
7 – You can keep a bicycle with you pretty much at all times.
You don’t have to worry about another survivor taking your bicycle . Just keep it with you. Of course right now people frown upon you carrying your bike in your office but when the apocalypse happens and there are no rules you can take your bike where ever you darn well please. Cars and trucks will change owners faster than a fart in the wind. One night you bunker down only to wake up to the sound of your vehicle starting and zooming off. What can you do but just watch and wave at that point.
6 – Your helmet will also protect your brains from zombie teeth.
Zombie teeth are nasty and zombie breath is even nastier! At least they can’t get to your delicious brains while you are wearing a helmet. We recommend an American football helmet too for the face protection.
5 – Bicycles make shortcuts and tight alleyways quicker and much safer.
Need to zip through a shortcut without getting seen? Need to make a quick getaway down a back alley? If you run you’ll be sorry but if you take a bicycle you’ll be quite and quick and can get through any open areas in just a few seconds.
4 – Bicycles are easy to fix and maintain.
Without a lot of moving parts and parts that could literally crush you if you don’t know what you are doing, you have to admit that bicycles are much easier to maintain. Plus you don’t need to crawl under it to look at the problem. You can look at it while keeping an eye out for any wondering zombies.
3 – You can use the bicycle as a weapon or a shield.
There’s something to be said for transportation that is fast, reliable, agile, AND something you can pick up and swing OR put between you and the zombies so that you don’t become zombie food.
2 – You can easily outrun zombies with very little effort
The average human can run for short distances at around 5-8 MPH. Sure some people can run the 4 minute mile but that’s less than a quarter of the world. Even then they are going an average of 15 MPH. While your average Joe can bicycle at speeds around 20-25 MPH and that’s just the average. That’s the same group of people that run at 5-8 MPH . While the more experienced riders with better cardio can get up in the 30’s MPH while they can run at speeds around half of that. So a zombie going 8 MPH chasing a bicycle riding human who is going 20 MPH will miss his meal for sure.
1 – You can afford one right now!
This one is the BEST point actually. Get a bicycle today and get out there and ride. Be honest with yourself about your “dream” zombie apocalypse vehicle and come out and say that you can’t afford it and the chances of finding it when the SHTF are too low to even try to look for it. However you can afford a bicycle and you can go ahead and get good on a bicycle too.
The absolute best way to survive the zombie apocalypse is to be prepared for it. Remember that if we fail to plan..we plan to become zombie food!
You must be logged in to post a comment.